So, I'm sure a lot of this is from hormones. I've been a bit of a mess lately, but man, I am feeling like such a failure. I think I need to take a social media break but I hate being "alone" and find it hard to not be on social media. Lately I've been looking at all the things everyone else has and been jealous.. insanely jealous..and it manifests in this feeling of failure. As if they have done more or lived more than I have.
I get upset that everyone else has families, great jobs, etc etc and I'm sitting here working at a job I dislike, with 2 failed marriages under my belt. Some days it is so hard to not feel like a complete worthless failure. The best part is that I KNOW that I am not a failure. Most people who have been through the shit I have do not turn out like I did. They become addicts, commit suicide, make bad decisions, etc. I'm not a statistic of the life I was raised in.
I get overwhelmed with work, school, and life. The stress from bills and my hours fluctuating has me breaking out in pimples and hives. I stress about what I'm going to do next, where my life is even headed, if I'm good enough for the people around me...I mean hell brain, stfu for 5 minutes and I might be happy!
this feeling of failure will go away. it always does. but lately it's been lingering around longer than I would like. bleh. just bleh. now I'm off to procrastinate on hw and take a nap. hopefully.
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